Last week, I began working a very temporary office job to help out at my husband’s office. Up until last Thursday, I’ve been fortunate enough to stay at home with our girl since her birth. I am only doing 1 1/2 days a week, and my first day truthfully flew. I was busy and enjoyed having some time back in an office setting. I arrived home and Richard asked me how the first day went. I said that I did not mind it at all, but if anything, it really lit a fire under my bum to find work that provides me flexibility in my hours because I dropped our girl off at 7:15 AM and picked her up at 6:30 PM. It was a long day for her to be away from home, a long day for me to be away from her, and a long day for her grandmother who looked after her.
I never thought I would be the mom that did not go back to work because I have always worked and been proud of my professional career. But, she arrived and things changed and the opportunity was there for me to stay at home. I feel ever so lucky and fortunate that I’ve been able to spend the past couple of years with her. It was always our agreement that once she began nursery at the age of 3 that I would find some sort of steady work, so as the months tick by and we come closer to her 3rd birthday, I’ve begun to look for work and have applied for a number of part-time jobs. So far, I have not had any luck, but I’ll keep trying.
Today was my half day at the office, and when I got to my mother-in-law’s house to collect our girl, I was oh-so-happy to see her and be on the receiving end of one of her amazing hugs. (You know those hugs that kids give with every ounce of their being? It was one of those. Wow, did I feel loved!) She was excited to get home and see Daddy too, so after a quick tidy up of the children’s toys and books scattered around Grandma’s lounge, we were off to our house. As I reversed into the drive, she saw Richard’s car and said excitedly, “Daddy’s car! Daddy’s home!” It always makes my heart smile when I see our little blondie run to her daddy after he has been gone all day and give him a crazy big cuddle, and tonight was no different.
What was different about tonight though is that as I was reading her a story, she began to get upset and said, “Mummy stay home with me.” This broke my heart. It doesn’t help that I was gone for 4 days on 2 separate occasions in the past month, and now, I’m gone again. Even though I talk to her about me going to work and her going to Grandma’s, I’m still not there with her and her schedule has changed. I know she is having fun with her grandma, but as Richard and I discussed tonight, it was almost like it hit her all of a sudden.
As I held back tears and comforted her, I promised her that tomorrow I would be home. That tomorrow would be a day for just the two of us. I brainstormed what big plans I could make for us, but when I mentioned to her that we would have to the grocery store, her eyes got big and she said, “Yes! Buy yogurt. Buy watermelon. Buy crumpets. Put jam on them.” I was so sweetly reminded that I don’t need any grand gestures to make up for my time away from her. All she needs is me and the normal every day.
Serious love to all mommas out there! We rock! xx